


Hear the Thumping of My Heart

by Holyangelheart



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 23:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4038790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holyangelheart/pseuds/Holyangelheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic is mainly KilluGon but the whole gang is here as weather Gods from my HxH Gods! AU on tumblr. The fic starts with Killua and Gon overlooking a city from across an ocean, knowing that it would be their next target. Kurapika and Leorio then enter the scene and the four of them leave the fluffy clouds to create a massive thunderstorm. As they each do their part, Gon begins to whine, wanting to feel the asphalt underneath his bare feet. Angst then ensues.</p>
<p>“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?” Prompt by kokofas</p>
<p>Songs you absolutely must listen to because I added some parts because of them. FEMM - Kiss The Rain and FTISLAND -Distance. Hope you like it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hear the Thumping of My Heart

**-x-x-**

_“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart._

_It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”_

-          Judy Garland

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

In the daytime, there were barely any clouds in the sky except for a few fluffy ones that looked soft to touch. Two gods lied down on one, their eyes focused on the bustling city below, waiting for their next task to be given by a fellow god.

“Ne, Killua that human looks similar to Leorio-kami, don’t you agree?” The spiky black haired one pointed to a person walking down a road that was hundreds of miles away from them, but the two could see them as if they were only a few feet away.

Sapphire eyes rolled at that comment as he shrugged, “Gon, you think that every human with black hair and circle glasses in a suit looks like Leorio.”

“Well it’s because he does!” Gon pouted. “Why does Leorio-kami wear a suit anyway?”

“How would I know something such as that Gon? I am younger than you!” Killua sighed audibly and was about to say something until he felt a gust of wind whip his hair against his face. ‘ _Oh god_ ,’ was his first thought but it was already too late.

“Ah!” Gon stood just in time to welcome a blond god that suddenly appeared, their long sleeves flowing with the wind. “Good morning Kurapika-kami.”

Kurapika smiled softly at the little god, “Good morning Gon…” His eyes automatically moved from Gon’s cheerful face to Killua whom stood in the last few seconds. “Good morning Killua.”

“Morning Kurapika-kami,” he replied a little begrudgingly to his superior.

The older god grinned slightly, knowing how Killua operates. “So do you two want your new assignment?”

The bubbly god smiled brightly and raised his hand, “Ready whenever!”

“Yeah, yeah whatever just give it to us already,” Killua said naturally, earning an elbow jab in his ribs from Gon. “Ouch,” he clicked his tongue and glared at his friend while the other acted innocently.

Gon smiled at Kurapika, expecting an amazing assignment. He wanted to do something that could shake a house with his sound waves or one that would make humans dance to his voice.

“The two of you will create a thunderstorm that will cross the ocean and head east.”

“What? But then most of the storm will not be seen by anyone in that case!” Both of them shouted in unison, their favorite thing to do was a flashy show and what’s the point if no one sees it?

“Oh, do not worry. Leorio and I will be there with you.”

“Come on Kura—!” Killua noticed how the god’s brown eyes turned a darker shade, one closer to crimson. “Ahem, but Kurapika _-kami_ ,” he emphasized the honorific to show his willingness to not be the victim of a hurricane-like-wrath from the other. “When can Gon and I make a thunderstorm on our own? We know how to do it like the back of our hand!”

“Your thunderclouds will not cross the skies without my wind to help. Without Leorio’s rain, your storm will be nothing more than a nuisance in the sky which the humans will not benefit from at all.”

“Yeah but—!”

Kurapika silenced him with a strong breeze that knocked him backwards and onto the cloud. “Not only do you have no right to argue Killua, Gon is the older god and is the leader between you two and his words are final.

Gon rubbed the back of his head with a small smile while Killua pouted with his legs crossed and his hair sticking up with static, showing his annoyance.

“If you two behave, then we can let you have fun with your voice echoing,” He gestured to an excited Gon and then gestured to an irritable Killua, “And you will be able to light up the sky as much as you want.”

“Yes!” They both jumped up and pulled Kurapika down with them, the three a laughing mess until Leorio floated down, a goofy smirk on his face.

“Heh and here you were telling me that _I_ need to be more serious on the job,” Leorio snorted and cleaned his glasses. “You can be such a hypocrite sometimes Kurapika.”

“A hypocrite…?” Kurapika tilted his head with a smile, a gust blowing behind him so strong that both Gon and Killua were blown off the cloud within seconds. “Say that again please since I did not hear you the first time Leorio.”

The tall god smirked but inside he knew that he was reaching dangerous territory. “Well would you look at the time, we should be heading out now,” he said before flying through the skies and leaving them behind, knowing they would follow suit soon.

“He can be so weak willed at times,” Kurapika rolled his eyes, “Come on you two; we have a mission to accomplish.”

“Yes, Kurapika-kami,” they replied and followed the other two to their destination. As they flew, small clouds slowly joined and formed larger ones. This continued until they reached their first destination, where the two young gods were finally allowed to let loose.

“You trust them enough to let them stray?” Leorio asked, a rolled up tobacco stick called a cigarette in his mouth, a human invention. He lit up the cigarette with another invention, one called a lighter.

Killua squinted at him and then rolled his eyes. “You do realize that if Wing-kami finds your little stash of human trinkets, he will force you to stand underneath a heavy downpour for multiple days again, right?”

“Wha—?” Leorio asked but the smoke caused an itch in his throat, resulting in him almost choking on the cigarette. After a few coughs and deep breaths, he was able to regain face. “I am a rain god, I can handle a downpour.”

“Oh…?” Kurapika asked with his eyes full of mirth. “For such a statement to come from the god that was ill for two weeks afterwards, a bad omen must be coming.”

The taller god squinted at him and breathed in the smoke, it felt as though he breathed in nothing. He breathed in again before Kurapika created a gust that threw the cigarette out of his hand. “Kurapika!” He cried, but the blond god was already moving the clouds towards the city from above the vast ocean.

As Leorio and Kurapika messed around while still claiming to be professional, the two younger gods jumped up and down on a large fluffy white cloud, waiting for the signal for them to begin. They needed to wait for Kurapika to gather all of the clouds at the starting point before they could signal the rain with lightning and thunder. After that, it would be Leorio’s turn to begin the downpour that would turn their creation into a real thunderstorm. The four of them would need to work together in order to create the perfect storm that they could be proud of, as a team.

Jumping was the only enjoyable activity the two could partake in and yet Gon was already too bored to continue. Amber eyes glanced at sapphire ones, “Hey Killua, do you want to see the rain for ourselves?” He asked with a hint of a smile on his face.

Killua looked at Gon as if he had grown two heads, "We are in the middle of making a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?"

“Yeah!” Gon smirked mischievously and clapped his hands together. It was only once and yet his hands created a thunderclap that echoed through the skies, earning him a hit on the head. “Oops,” he rubbed the back of his head and stuck out his tongue.

“Oi! We were not told to use our powers yet!” Killua scolded him. “If Kurapika hears your roars then he will tell Wing!”

Although the mention of the upper god made Gon cringe, he still stood up proudly with his hands wide. “It will be okay Killua! We must have done it a hundred times by now.”

“And all of them were because of you! We got really close to being found by humans the last time Gon, we got a light warning from Leorio…Do you want all of us to get into trouble?”

“Well…no…” He answered reluctantly.

The white haired god nodded, “Exactly and that is why—”

“But it does not matter as long as we do not get caught!” Gon grinned from ear to ear.

“You have not listening to a thing that I have said!” Killua growled at him, sparks shocking the air as he hissed, lines of white and blue shooting in all directions.

“Come on Killua~!” Gon nudged him with a smile. “It will be fine as long as you are with me, right?”

“That may be true…but that does not excuse your behavior Gon.”

The black haired thunder god rolled his eyes, “You really are starting to sound like Kurapika-kami…”

“No I am not!”

“Sure...” Gon looked away.

The air shook as Killua’s anger rose. “Say just one more thing Gon and I will send your loud ass sparking into the ocean.”

“Try me,” Gon taunted as he stood his ground, a small smirk on his lips but in reality he was giddy inside. Since the two spend all of their time together, his favorite pastime was filling Killua up with rage. He always made sure to patch things up afterwards, but being a god was not a fun job. Messing around with his best friend was the only fun he could have. That is, except for the other thing. He loved walking on mortal soil and feeling what he imagined being a human is like. For some reason he was one of the few gods with such feelings. He always felt a connection to the earth, as though he was meant to _exist_ there.

“Oh god…I know that look on your face. The answer is no.”

Gon moved side to side, not being able to contain his excitement, “Please?” However even after saying the word constantly for 5 minutes Killua continued to resist his whines. “…Fine then! I will just go down there by myself.”

“Gon—!” Just as his best friend descended, a gust of wind propelled them into the sky, courtesy of a certain wind god. It was time for them to work their magic. Killua groaned but flew into the clouds, his hair sparkling white and blue as static made the tips of his hair began to attract the clouds. He waited until it was all gathered before shooting straight up, his fingertips sparking as lightning bolts flew left and right.

Right after Killua lit up the sky; Gon rubbed his hands together until it was warm and toasty before bringing them together again in a wide movement to create a loud boom that echoed through the sky. It signaled for the rain to fall but instead of continuing to clap through the sky, he sat on the lowest cloud. As lightning flashed and winds flew around him at speeds that would cause a tornado, he continued to sit peacefully without a care in the world. The god opened his mouth, a song of wonder and yearning bubbled from his lips. So sweet that it reminded him of the human’s sugary dessert that resembled clouds, a treat Leorio sneaked into his quarters one day. Yet the song was a poem he made on his own, although he couldn’t remember when, it was sweet and left a bitter aftertaste.

“ _The clouds look so comfortable that I want to jump on them, with you holding my hand_ ,” Gon sung, his feet dangling over the edge, the ocean eerily dark right below him. “ _Not only that but the skies are so vast, they cannot tell us to stop and to forget the past.”_

“ _Oh, how I yearn for the day that I can fly amongst the sky_ ,” he gazed into the dark depths with a bittersweet smile on his lips. “ _My arms sprawled wide and to the side of me. I see you smiling at me and it is something that I dream about excitedly_.” He noticed how Kurapika came closer to him and he stood, his voice becoming only slightly louder, but it controlled the roaring thunder.

“ _Oh, how I yearn for the day you call my name amongst the clouds that we can only play with in our sleep_.” Gon watched as the clouds hovered over the city, rain now pouring down with Kurapika’s harsh winds and Killua’s bright lightning. _“Yet you gave up your wings in order to see me fly, but how can I fly without you by my side?”_ He looked over the edge of the cloud and closed his eyes, allowing himself to be weighed down by gravity.

_“So I fall, fall deep into you and we succumb to the dark ocean that consumes us whole,”_ he continued to sing as the distance between him and the ocean shrunk. It was as if his body moved to the words of the song he couldn’t remember the origin of. _“Our hands now clasp as the empty one reaches up towards the surface,”_ contradictory to the words, he spread his arms wide just like the beginning of the song.

He was close to plunging head first into the chilly water. _“Hoping that as our lungs fill with water,”_ he smiled brightly. _“We can one day touch the sky once again.”_

The impact he waited gratefully for never came. Instead he felt himself being carried by Killua whose hair was still standing in all directions. “Oi!” Killua shouted, “So if I do not let you feel the rain, you decide to drown yourself with in the ocean?” He cut Gon off before he could utter a word, “No excuses! We must move to the city now. Kurapika is going to notice your absence soon.”

Gon decided there was no use in arguing once the god was full of static, he always refuses to listen to any arguments and it’d be wise to follow unless you want a shock. “There they are,” he motioned to the tallest building in the whole city, both Leorio and Kurapika stood waiting for him. Leorio appeared to be waving his arms at them to make sure they saw him.

“What took you two so long? Kurapika was about to fly off to find you,” he winced at the knuckle being pushed into his ribs.

“Leorio and I will be making sure that the clouds move in the right direction, we cannot have this city drowning.”

“It was only one time!” Leorio shouted and flew into the clouds mumbling, “One time and he holds it against you for centuries.”

Kurapika rolled his eyes, “You two will stay here for now to make sure that the next city will notice the storm to protect their citizens. Make sure it is loud enough so they can hear it from far away.” He flew after the other god without another word.

“So,” Gon kicked a rock lightly. “Do you want to walk around the city for now?” He asked with a smile.

“Gon…you got your wish and for once Kurapika allowed us to be in the city instead of the clouds. Why do you want to go down there so badly?”

The thunder god looked away, “I have this unnerving feeling that I feel will never go away unless I walk on the asphalt with my own two feet.”

 Killua glanced at him and then towards the sky, allowing the rain to actually touch him instead of just having it bounce off of his barrier. “…Only for a couple of minutes,” his wavy hair was the only thing he kept dry. When he first became a lightning god, he made the mistake of not erecting a barrier and was the butt of the god’s favorite joke for two weeks.

Gon instantly smiled and followed his friend’s actions, leaving his hair the only dry part of his appearance. “Come on Killua!” He grabbed his hand and ran down the building at full speed while still making sure not to break the glass under his feet.

“W-Wait Gon!”

Gon laughed, loving how the droplets rolled off his skin. He felt alive.

Once the two finally reached the ground, Gon danced around happily, his feet kicking in the air and he even did a few flips. “Finally!” His smile was wide despite being drenched from his shoulders down.

“A few minutes starting now,” Killua started a countdown in his head, timing their little act that if known by the higher-ups, will receive harsh punishment.

“Lighten up already jeez,” he said smoothly.

Killua stared at him.

Gon nudged him with a smirk, “Heh get it. Since you are a lightning god and all,” he chuckled at his own joke, earning an orb of water aimed at his face. “Hey!”

“That is what you deserve for saying such a lame joke,” Killua replied just as smooth and dodged the orb aimed at his hair. “HAH! You missed!” He smirked and ran away from him.

Their laughter filled the empty streets as they were able to relax and enjoy themselves without elders nagging them to do things.

“Catch me if you can!” Gon shouted from in front of him.

With the amount of rain, Killua could barely see his back; he tried his best to catch up so that he wouldn’t lose sight of him. Right when Gon completely disappeared in the mist, he heard a screech and a bang before his ears rung with silence. “Gon!” He shouted and then flew to his friend to find the boy lying on the ground. There was a human motor vehicle right beside him, the thing that hit Gon. He lifted his hand to use his electricity to make the hunk of metal burst into flames, but then a tall human came out with the most worried expression he had ever seen.

“O-Oh god no…” The human fell to their knees. “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t see in the rain and I was rushing to go home to my family. I-I didn’t think anyone would be running around in the street.” They looked at Killua, their eyes tired. “A-Are they okay?”

Killua hid his sparking hand behind his back and nodded before he picked Gon up and ran, the human’s shouts drowned in the sound of the rain.

Once he was able to catch his breath, he hid underneath a gazebo in the middle of an empty park. “G-Gon wake up,” he tapped the unconscious God’s cheek a few times, hoping he would finally open his eyes. He glanced at his hand and saw red. He looked at the spot where his hand previously touched; the thunder god was bleeding on his side. Gods shouldn’t be able to bleed so why was he? Just what was happening?

The sight of Gon in his arms made his head and heart ache. His electricity began to fizzle when it came into contact with the rain, shocking him so badly that he felt it in his brain. The shock woke up a part that had been sleeping for who knows how long, a scene began to play in his mind.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_Gon coughed up blood, “I’m all right, Killua. It doesn’t…hurt at…all.”_

_“S-Stop bluffing…” Killua told him, his voice shook. “J-Just hold on Gon, hold on a bit longer.”_

_“I’m not bluffing…I’m actually a little bit…happy,” Gon smiled up at Killua as a drop of blood flowed down from the corner of his chapped lips. “Finally…” He gazed up at the dense branches hindering his view of the night sky, “Finally…I can repay him for…saving me that day.”_

_“P-Please don’t say another word Gon, p-please,” the white haired boy sobbed. He didn’t care that his weak side was being shown to his best friend. He didn’t care that his face was ugly and his cheeks were stained from tears. “I-I was too late. If only I had been here sooner…”_ _He cried, as his tears fell onto Gon’s blood streaked cheek._

_The other reached for him, his hand caressing Killua’s face. “It’s not your fault Killua…I’m sorry…f-for those things that…I-I said before,” his stuttering became worse as his lungs began to fill with blood. “Y-You we’re…just…looking out for me…as always.” He coughed again, blood spewing out with some landing on Killua’s face._

_“Gon,” Killua shook his head, the tears rolling faster now._

_Yet Gon didn’t stop. “Killua…I’m…so happy…to have…met you.” His smile grew, “I’m so happy to have…become your…friend. It’s…all I ever…dreamed of…so thank…you,” he attempted to chuckle but it sounded hoarse. “Thank you…You’re my…most important…friend.” His breath was strained and his eyes closed shut for the last time._

_It took seconds for Killua to finally realize what happened. “Please, s-somebody s-save Gon…s-somebody,” he cried out as he cradled his best friend. “D-Don’t leave m-me again. Not a-again.” Killua held onto him with the remaining strength he had, hearing the heart beating beneath his palm begin to slowly, slowly come to a stop until the breath against his cheek was no more and the wrist in his hand turned limp._

_He slowly kissed Gon’s hand, now slightly wrinkled and drained of color. His lips brushed lightly against his forehead and closed eyelids, slid down to the tip of his nose, and finally lingered on his lips. The taste of iron covered his own lips, the urge to lick or wipe the blood away was strong but he was afraid. He was afraid that licking them would wash Gon’s touch away forever. As the forest around him once again showed life with the sounds of chirps and roars, Killua quieted his cries and wept until Ikalgo and Palm found him holding Gon. “I love you,” he whispered as the two tried to get him to let go of Gon. Their foreheads had been touching in hopes of giving him some warmth, but the body in his arms had already gone cold._

_It was empty of a soul._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What…was that?” Killua asked before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell on top of Gon. He wasn’t aware that Kurapika and Leorio had flown in; their eyes sad but they didn’t ask what happened because they knew. They knew.

 

**-x-x-**

 

When Killua woke up, his eyes immediately scanned his surroundings for Gon, but he was inside a black room with only the bed under him and a chair as furniture. He stood up from the bed and walked towards the door, but it was locked. No matter how many times he jiggled the doorknob, it wouldn’t budge. “Why is the door lock?!” He yelled out.

A metal covering a rectangular opening was removed and he saw Kurapika’s familiar eyes. “Killua…”

“Why am I locked in here Kurapika? Where is Gon? What happened to him? The last thing I remembered was—”

“What was the last thing you remembered?”

Kurapika brushing aside his concern for Gon was a clear sign that something was wrong. Killua didn’t hesitate, “The last thing I remember is Gon being hit by a human motor vehicle is he alright?”

The way Kurapika’s tone was slightly brighter struck a chord. “Yes, Gon is being cared for as of right now.”

“Well let me out so I can meet him!” He yelled.

“We cannot let you meet him right now, if you do it could be disastrous for his health,” Kurapika replied easily. “Also, you are being held in here until Netero-kami decides your punishment.”

“Punishment…? What did I—?” He started but remembered how they got into the situation in the first place. “Does that incident deserve imprisonment? I thought you were my friend Kurapika-kami.”

Kurapika’s eyes flashed red, “If it had not been for me and Leorio then you would no longer be alive right now Killua.”

“Kurapika-kami!” Leorio shouted from behind him.

The blond’s eyes returned to its normal shade of brown and he breathed before speaking again, “You must wait until they decide. I will let you know if something happens to Gon, goodbye.”

“Wait!” Before Killua could speak another word, the hole was covered and the room around him was once again pitch black except for the light from the space underneath the metal door. He tried to use his lightning to illuminate the room, but they wouldn’t work at all.

As he was forced to keep himself company, he could only remember bits and pieces of the scene that flashed in his head right after Gon was hit. Why did Gon bleed when he thought Gods were immortal? Why was Gon dead in his arms? If those were memories of his past, then why was Gon there? Who was this Gon that he confessed his love to as he died in his arms? What was Gon to him? _Just…Just who am I?_

While Killua was alone with his thoughts, the two other gods were walking away from the cell.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Leorio asked Kurapika after the two were finally alone. “If he remembers what happened to him before he ascended—”

Kurapika turned around, his eyes dangerous. “If he remembers then it is our job to make sure nothing else happens. We cannot continue to make storms without them.”

“Based on his reaction, I would say his memories are unpleasant. He will turn out like the others Kurapika-kami, he will become a lifeless doll or go on a rampage and kill many. Once he remembers everything and break under the pressure from it, he will descend.”

“I know…” Kurapika stared at him, “There is only one thing we can do.”

“What is that?”

“We must make him forget.”

 

**-x-x-**

 

After a couple of days of being imprisoned, Killua was finally allowed out. Apparently Gon was also discharged from his room. When he finally saw the thunder god, he couldn’t contain his happiness. Now he just needed to figure out where he should bring Gon. If Leorio and Kurapika were shady, then everyone else was too. That would mean it’s not safe for the two of them to be there anymore. He needed  to get Gon to somewhere safe and fast without anyone noticing.

“Gon—!” Killua ran up to Gon, the first words he spoke ever since he was discharged from his prison. He hugged the thunder god with a bright smile. “I am so glad to see that you are okay.”

When Gon didn’t reply, Killua pulled away, his smile gone. “What happened, Gon?”

Gon looked away from him. “Why are you touching me?” The usual bright boy grimaced in disgust at his touch. “Who do you think you are to touch me? I do not know you at all.”

The lightning god stepped back. “Gon…?” His vision blurred slightly and he took a step forward again. “Gon…Are you alright? What did they do to you?” Did they already get to him while he was being imprisoned?

“Do not touch me!” Gon slapped his hand away, leaving a red mark on Killua’s hand. “I do not know who you are but that does not excuse your rude behavior!” He began to walk away and Killua could feel his breathing become labored.

“G-Gon…!” Killua reached out towards his best friend, but no matter how loud he yelled. No matter what he did, the god never once turned around. So he ran. He ran after the god despite his heart aching in his chest. His best friend walked off and left him behind. “Are you leaving me again?! Are you abandoning me again?! Being selfish again on your own?!”

Gon stopped, but didn’t turn back. He waited for Killua to speak again, but the words never came so he walked ahead, straight ahead.

When Killua finally found the words he wanted to say, he looked up but Gon was no longer there. Was that Gon real or was the one that died in his arms just an illusion his mind created?

As the days passed by, he was forced to live with bits and pieces of his memory and it was driving him insane. He couldn’t use his powers at all and sleep was impossible. The more he thought about it, the worse he became. He was once again confined to the room, Leorio and Kurapika were worried that he would hurt others and they were right. Even he didn’t know what was going to happen.

There was only one thing he could do. He remembered hearing one of the guards talking about it. They spoke of a god who had the ability to make them forget their pasts; the cells were made specifically for those that had regained their human memories. Forgetting was the only way to end his suffering. To end the loss of having a past Gon die in his arms and the other push him away.

“Please…tell me of this god you speak of,” Killua would say over and over again from behind the door. He would lie on the ground for hours, hoping that the little space underneath the door would allow his voice to carry farther for his voice had already become hoarse.

Finally, they brought him to the god. In a throne room of the highest level gods, a lone man sat with his long black hair covering his shoulders, a stark contrast to his snow white skin. “Why must you bore me with your presence?” He asked.

Killua fell to his knees, the memories in his head flowing out from the box he shouldn’t have opened. The lightning god crawled over to the god sitting before him. “Please…” He pleaded desperately. “Please just make me f-forget everything. I cannot continue my d-duties like this…I cannot continue to l-live like this so p-please,” his voice shook and his entire body trembled. The dark circles under his eyes looked as if it was painted on. “P-Please erase Gon from my m-memories. E-Erase him from everything…erase me.”

“Oh you poor child,” the god lifted Killua’s head with one hand, pristine nails becoming black underneath his chin. He didn’t ask for any more information, he didn’t ask about who this “Gon” person is. He didn’t need to ask because he already knew. “I will put you out of your misery.”

Killua closed his eyes as he felt the temperature in the room begin to drop. Cold air blew onto his face as the other god slowly got closer to his lips. Once they were only a few centimeters apart, the god’s breath covered Killua’s lips with a thin layer of frost, turning it blue.

“Do not worry Killu,” the god smiled as the frost slowly crawled over Killua’s entire face, spreading over his entire body. “You will forget everything, just like you have time and time again. If you remember everything then surely you will try to go to your precious Gon but I cannot allow such a thing to happen.” He snapped his fingers and two gods appeared to carry Killua’s frozen body away. “You two must be punished for trying the stunt you pulled all those years ago. I will not allow you to make a fool out of me twice…Kurapika.” The god called the wind god’s name after a pause.

“Yes?” Kurapika kneeled before the black haired god, “What is it that you wish for me to do?”

“Erase all of Killua’s memories and this time do it right or else,” he turned around and waved him away since there was no need to explain what would happen if he’s crossed.

“As you wish…Illumi-kami,” the blond nodded and vanished with a gust of wind, leaving the snow god to his own devices.

 

**-x-x-**

 

A few days later, two figures sat in a quaint home at the edge of a large cloud, their hands clenched and legs shaking as they waited for another to return.

Once the door opened, they both stood. “What happened?” They asked.

“It’s too late,” Kurapika’s eyes glowed crimson. “Illumi already got Killua to break down. He kept Killua in the prison for an entire month and it was too much for him this time around.”

Leorio slammed his fist down on the table they surrounded. “So what do we do now?” He asked.

“There’s nothing we can do…” The third god replied, making the other two look at him. “All we can do is wait for another chance, another try to make him remember.”

Kurapika frowned, his eyes returning to its natural color. “Gon…Are you sure? What if he doesn’t remember again? You’re the only one who has remembered everything that has happened since we all became gods.”

“I have seen you three remember things and then forget them time and time again. I finally figured out how to make sure you two don’t become humans again and I almost had Killua…if it weren’t for Illumi standing in my way.” He clenched his fist tighter and looked out the window, the sky clear without them to create storms. “You two must go before they become suspicious. He’s going to come here soon and I will geet him.”

“Are you sure you don’t want us here? Are you sure you can greet him again?” Leorio asked worriedly. “I’m sure that Illumi wouldn’t mind if you don’t meet him this time. You have been the one greeting Killua after each breakdown he’s had. Why do you torture yourself?”

Gon breathed and looked at his hand, “I’m not torturing myself Leorio,” he smiled. “I want to be the one to greet him, it’s the only way.” _I promised to be the one to meet him again, even if it means departing 100 times, I will be there each time and time again._

“Alright…we understand,” the two walked out the door, concern written all over his their faces. “Be careful Gon, they’re watching us.”

“I know.” Gon nodded and then watched the two fly away, leaving him alone. “There is only one method that I haven’t tried yet” Gon whispered softly. “Killua…” He touched the window that had accumulated dust since his last visit there. The sound of a bell ringing made him rush out of the house to await his guest.

 

**-x-x-**

 

Sapphire eyes moved around behind two eyelids as they dreamed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The sound of rain droplets hitting the window made him stare outside, but with the amount of rain, everything was gray and he couldn’t see the scenery at all.

“Onii-chan?” A girl leaned down towards him who was trying to get as close to the window as possible while still sitting on the couch. “What’s wrong? You’ve been staring out the window for 10 minutes.”

“Huh?” He looked at her in a daze before his eyes focused and he smiled. “It’s nothing.”

She frowned at him, but forced a smile. “Don’t catch a cold okay Onii-chan?” She asked and walked away. “I’m going to be in my room!”

“Have fun,” the boy replied absently and waved his hand as his mind wandered.

As the rain continued to fall, he closed his eyes to focus on how it flowed. It reminded him of **someone** and the way he would always get excited by the rain. The fact that it gave life to all the plants on the island and that it kept everything green made him happy. That **person** would run outside once he smelled that rain was coming.

He walked up to the window which his breath fogged up and drew a circle with three spikes that were connected. Then he drew two dots and a smile on its face. “___,” he whispered before he chewed on his lip, his heart aching. His throat felt constricted, as if he was drowning but there was nothing to suffocate him but his own pain.

“ ________ ,” That **person** ’s voice called for him.

He walked towards the door, his hand hovering above the doorknob.

“ _______ come outside! The rain feels amazing_!”

“___…” He whispered. The teen shook his head, “It’s been years…I can do this,” he slowly turned the knob and pulled the door open, a gust of wind and rain made him cold to the bone. Yet in his mind all he could see was that **person** dancing in front of the house. He remembered it like it was only yesterday.

_“Jeez ___! We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?” He shivered; he didn’t particularly like the rain._

_“Heh of course! What better time to stop and feel the rain?” The other **person** twirled around, his arms spread out towards the sky._

_He sat on the porch, mist spraying at his face and even that was unpleasant to him. He began to sing a song he used to sing all the time, “The clouds look so comfortable that I want to jump on them, with you holding my hand,” he breathed in and closed his eyes._ _“Not only that but the skies are so vast, they cannot tell us to stop and to forget the past.”_

_Without him knowing, the **person** had stopped his little dance number and listened to the beautiful song his best friend was singing._

_“Oh, how I yearn for the day that I can fly amongst the sky,” the boy continued. “My arms sprawled wide and to the side of me. I see you smiling at me and it is something that I dream about excitedly.”_

_That **person** smiled at him at the mention of the person in the song._

_“Oh, how I yearn for the day you call my name amongst the clouds that we can only play with in our sleep.” He bit his lip, his voice growing sorrowful. “Yet you gave up your wings in order to see me fly, but how can I fly without you by my side?”_

_The **person** found himself walking closer to the boy, his entire body drenched and now he stood in front of the defenseless other._

_He licked his lips, and sung with his all. “So I fall, fall deep into you and we succumb to the dark ocean that consumes us whole,” he slowly opened his eyes, but he didn’t notice that **person** before him, his hand moved on his own. “Our hands now clasp as the empty one reaches up towards the surface,” he finished, but he shrieked in surprise when his hand came into contact with something wet. “Ew!”_

**_They_ ** _smiled and grabbed the boy’s wrist since his hand had unknowingly found his wet cheek. It wasn’t only drenched by the rain, but also by tears. The sorrow in his friend’s voice made his heart ache. “______…” He pulled him up and into the storm, the two drenched in seconds from the rain._

_“___!” Killua tried to run back into the house, but then **they** pulled on his hand, making him turn around. He froze once their lips touched and a hand clasped his own._

“ _______…_ ” The **person** grinned when they broke apart. “ _You’re all wet now, ehehehe my plan worked_!”

“___…” He opened his eyes and found himself in the middle of the front lawn. “___…” Now not only was his body drenched in rain, but he covered his face with his hands and fell to his knees. He continued to call out his friend’s name as he wept. _“Oh, how I yearn for the day you call my name amongst the clouds,”_ his own voice echoed in his head because now **they** are gone and his voice can no longer reach his ears.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sapphire eyes opened slowly and the boy wiped them slowly, his vision out of focus. He wondered what the dream was about, but it was fuzzy in his head and already at the back of his mind. He stood from the bed and scanned his surroundings; he had been sleeping in a wooden cabin. “What am I doing here?” He touched his lips in thought and gasped at the cold.

The sound of ringing caught his attention. It brought him outside and he walked out of the cabin and stepped onto a fluffy cloud. He was used to the sensation and continued to walk towards the sound. He walked up a hill of sorts and when he got to the peak, he gasped at the sight before him. In the distance, people were flying over islands, creating lightning, thunder, hail, and more.

“What is this place? Am I…dead?” He asked to himself.

“Yes.” A figure he didn’t notice beforehand suddenly turned around, a bright smile and pointy black hair adoring their features. Behind them was the biggest cloud he had ever seen and their smile was welcoming.

“I am dead?” He asked again for confirmation.

“Yes,” the person’s hand reached out towards him. “Welcome to heaven, Killua.”

“You know my name?” He asked, confused.

They laughed lightly, the sound calming yet booming at the same time. “Of course I do, do you remember it?”

“I…” He tried to search his memories, but couldn’t. The only thing he slightly remembered was that he woke from a sad dream that made his heart ache. “I don’t remember my name or anything at all. I don’t remember.” When he said that, he could have sworn the other person’s eyes glazed over.

“That is normal since you just ascended, now come with me.”

Killua reached for the other’s hand and paused which caught the other off guard, “What’s your name then?”

“My name…?” The person smiled, it was unnatural for him to ask right after they meet. As he thought of what to say, the white cloud now loomed over them, a dark shade of gray. It was the perfect chance to try the other way to make Killua remember. He was always hesitant because it was sure to fail. He suddenly pulled Killua towards him as a heavy rain began to fall and kissed him on the lips. The cold frost was now gone and was replaced with Killua’s natural spark. “My name is Gon…do you remember me now, Killua?” He asked, breathily.

_“ **Killua** …” **Gon** grinned when they broke apart. “You’re all wet now, ehehehe my plan worked!” _ The dream echoed in his head.

“…Gon…?” Killua tried to cover his face as the warmth from the kiss spread through his body, no longer numb from the cold. “Gon…” His voice was slightly above a whisper. “Gon…Gon…Gon…!” He repeated the name over and over again, the name sounding natural on his tongue. All at once the memories flooded out from behind a thick wall.

“Yes?” Gon bit back a smile in case it was only a fluke. It was his last chance to make Killua remember before he’s caught in Illumi’s web.

The dream from before was now vivid in his head, it wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t a dream, but actually a memory.

_“ **Gon** …” He opened his eyes and found himself in the middle of the front lawn. “ **Gon** …” Now not only was his body drenched in rain, but he covered his face with his hands and fell to his knees. He continued to call out his friend’s name as he wept. “Oh, how I yearn for the day you call my name amongst the clouds,”_

“Gon!” Killua called out his name again. “Gon! Gon! Gon!” He shouted as tears fell from his face. All the previous times he had been reset also came back all at once which made him dizzy. He stumbled and fell into Gon’s waiting arms. “Gon…Have you waited long?” He asked and looked up at the smiling person that had triggered his memories each time. The one person that never gave up on him, the one person that made him ask Illumi to erase everything and had to live with each memory with a smile on his face. Each time had a different scenario. At least 100 different times where Gon had to practically kill him in order to make him remember, but he wasn’t mad. He couldn’t be mad at him when he had to live with it time and time again.

Just imagining the pain Gon had gone through this whole time made him want to kiss him under the rain over and over again. What was his face like each time a chance slipped through his fingers…the chance to reunite with the real Killua with all of his memories? How could he be angry at him for enduring all of it alone with Kurapika and Leorio only knowing about it recently?

 Gon shook his head. “No…No, I haven’t waited long at all.” He smiled as the tears poured down his cheeks. “None of it matters now that you remember everything Killua. I’m so sorry,” he cried harder, his tears falling on Killua’s face as he now held him instead of the other way around. “I’m so sorry for not listening when you told me to stop it with Pitou. I’m so sorry for making you deal with that alone.” _For making you live without me by your side, I didn’t realize you would miss me so much as I watched from above the clouds._

Killua shook his head, “Friends don’t need to apologize to each other Gon,” he moved their foreheads together; the last time one of parting while this one is a sign of their bond finally strengthening.

“I’m still sorry—!”

Killua laughed and cut him off with a thumb against his lips. “There’s no need to say it Gon because we’re together now.” He wiped away Gon’s tears with his thumb and kissed his lips.

“You’re right,” Gon said with a laugj. He grabbed Killua’s hand and held it tightly. “Welcome home,” he whispered against his cheek.

Killua smiled as their lips brushed lightly against each other and whispered, “I’m home.”

 

**-x-x-**

 

 

The two knew that what they had experienced was difficult but their happy ending was still a long ways from happening. Yet the two finally remembered everything and there was no need to even speak afterwards, they were content for now because it didn’t matter if they’re in the mortal world or in heaven. They are only truly at home in the other person’s arms and any difficulty in the future is worth the pain and suffering they must bear now.

 

 

**-x-x-**

**The end.**

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel or nah?
> 
> I had so many ways to end this in angst but I held myself back for you guys.
> 
> In case it was confusing, Gon remembered his past right after he became a god, unlike everyone else. If you remember your human self you may go into shock and it can kill a god. Also the only thing in this AU that can kill a god is a human. It can be anything that relates to humans really. Whether it’s a human truck or even human memories, it can kill them.
> 
> The shock leaves them incapable of doing anything, some worse than others. Luckily for Kurapika and Lerio, Gon was there to help them through the pain. However, Gon had no one.
> 
> You can ask me questions and I might write a sequel answering them but I’m alright with leaving this as is since I was gonna make it even more angsty but decided not to. The other idea was to just have Gon resent him but nah I can’t do that. Not this time anyway.


End file.
